Locked in Heart and Strife
by dynamiic
Summary: "You're as broken as I am," Tifa lightly laughed, "but you're fixable. You just need to put together your pieces." He didn't look at her and only stared at the white flowers in the middle of the church. He finally mustered up the courage to speak, "You're one of them." CloTi. AUish.


"Is my time up, yet?"

"No, you've got twenty minutes, Cloud," Yuna sighed, looking down at her notes.

It was always like this every Wednesday. The young man would come into her office for their one-hour therapy sessions at 3 o'clock, they'd sit and talk- more on Yuna's part than his- and he'd ask how much time he had left whenever he felt like enough minutes went by. This Wednesday was no different than any other. His habit wasn't impatience, she could tell, but was instead attempts of avoidance. It was as if time was an excuse of this avoidance- and also ironically what kept him bound to their therapy sessions.

Cloud sitting across from her didn't respond and continued to stare absentmindedly at the books sitting on the table between them. With the clock on the wall taken away, there was nothing to continuously glance at. His eyes stayed transfixed on anything random around the room that didn't move or stare back.

Yuna looked down at her notes again and found that not much progress was made this session so far, or at all for that matter. As his habit with time, his answers to every day questions were the same. His job was going alright and home was calm- nothing out of the ordinary. He didn't speak much and she, her usually collected and patient self, found it almost frustrating. It was she who was supposed to be the listener while he spoke, not the other way around.

She needed a new approach.

"Cloud," Yuna said gently, setting her pen down and taking off her glasses, "How have you been feeling lately?"

He looked up at her, a subtle confused expression on his face. In their six months together, Miss Yuna had never asked him a simple, straightforward question like that before. Her prodding was always so indirect, subdued… complex. The lack of fog in her question caught him off guard.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I know I've been a little sneaky when I ask you questions," she said, chuckling, "but it's exactly what you think it means this time."

Cloud observed his therapist, not believing her and trying to find any trace of deceit in her mannerism. No, there was no possible way Miss Yuna was pulling his leg. The woman was one of the kindest and most genuine people he knew; the assumption that she was playing crude games with him with a simple question was almost absurd.

"I've been feeling… okay," he said as he looked back down at the books. He said nothing more and Yuna fully expected it.

"Do you feel like we've made progress these last few months, no matter how small?" her voice was light.

"Some. I don't know," Cloud said in his default monotone. He didn't know and didn't care if she believed his lie or not. He looked up again and found her staring at him with an air of worry.

"The day's coming up soon," she said slowly, "Knowing well that you've made some progress would help ease you when the time comes."

"Yeah, I know," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat that appeared from out of nowhere.

"Do you want me to schedule you an appointment for that day or the day before?" Yuna asked.

Cloud shook his head and looked down once more.

"No. No, I'll be fine."

* * *

He didn't know why he kept going back there. He felt like there was no real progress being made. Nightmares still came and went, frequent days alone were beginning to eat the last pieces of him away, and nothing could stop him from spacing out. It felt never ending. Still, he couldn't deny that Miss Yuna had been nothing but good and supportive to him ever since Cloud met her fiancé, Tidus, on a delivery run.

"It'll be good for you," Tidus had said when he verbally noted the younger man's dull demeanor, "You seem like you need some support. Yuna's a psychiatrist, and she's amazing at what she does."

And she'd been amazing. Both of them had been great help in the last six months.

But Cloud couldn't help but continue to feel helpless. Nights were the worst and the only things that kept him strapped to the ground were his job, his home, and anything remotely distracting around him.

He closed his eyes tiredly as he stood there at the subway station waiting for the train. How much sleep had he gotten last night? He couldn't remember. Last night felt like ages ago.

_Hey, Cloud. You okay? _

Huh? Zack?

_Hey, man, don't doze off, _he laughed,_ We've got some heat coming our way pretty soon. Gotta be prepared, you know?_

Zack. No, what was he doing there?

_See? Everything's… alright. _

Aerith?

_You know, you're not that bad. Those two shots were clean. _

What?

_Thank you, Cloud. These flowers are beautiful. _

No, why was this coming back again? And both of them at the same time?

_I never blamed you. Not once. You came for me. That's all that matters. _

_Cloud, RUN! _

Cloud's eyes jolted open and he found himself back at the subway station, the underground sounds crashing back into his ears. His body then began to feel sweaty and hot, his breaths were shallow, and his head felt a faint pressure. He had just pulled himself back down to earth before another anxiety attack could take over. No, he couldn't succumb to this, especially out in public. The last thing he needed was unwanted attention.

Suddenly, someone bumped into his side, their face covered by a hood with long, black hair flowing out of their hood and down their chest.

"Sorry," a soft voice said quickly. A young woman?

She hurried away down towards the end of the station where the tunnels ended. Cloud's eyes followed her, noticing the unusualness of her movements and finding them as enough of a distraction from his haunting memories. She seemed… antsy, like she was in a hurry. Cloud had just missed the last train by a few seconds, so the next one wasn't going to come by for another ten minutes. Her matter must be important.

Feeling like his eyes were lingering for too long, he tore his gaze away from the woman and went back to mentally meditating and calming his nerves.

Minutes went by and the train's lights were visible far down the tunnel. With no deliveries scheduled that day, he was finally able to go home.

Home wasn't much for it was an abandoned church in the outskirts of town, but it was one of the only places he could find comfort aside from the seat on his bike. His needs weren't much, either, so there was no need to find an actual place to seek refuge in. His life had to be as simple as possible.

"Hey! Stop!" a man screamed. Cloud looked to where it'd come from and saw the same woman who'd bumped into him jump down onto the railings below. The train was coming in fast.

"Somebody help!" an elderly woman shouted desperately.

A surge of energy and urgency sparked his muscles, pushing him to move. Cloud threw the coat slung on his arm aside and immediately sprinted down the station's platform without thinking. The screams and shouts around him were stinging his ears as he pushed past people on the edge and jumped down onto the railings.

"Miss!" he cried out, instantly grabbing on to her waist. He pulled her but was then pushed away.

"What are you doing?!" she yelled, her voice cracking. Her ruby eyes were wide with surprise, tears starting to fall on her face, "You need to get out of here!"

Cloud looked at her, instantly seeing his own pain on her face and in her eyes. She was broken, like he was. He was looking right in a mirror.

The shouts from the people behind him were getting louder and the rumbling of the floor and railings right under them became more violent. He was then brought back down to earth once again- the train was coming. He had to get the woman and himself out of its way before it was too late.

He lunged forward, took hold of the woman again paying no mind if she was fighting back or not, and snapped his head to his left to see how close the train was, the rest of his body already moving towards the platform. People held out their hands to him and their screams were almost has deafening as the train.

Its lights were glaring, only a few yards away.

And that was when Cloud's world stopped.

* * *

_My love for Cloti and FFVII has been rekindled and I really really really wanted to write something with Cloud and Tifa because I can't get enough of them haha. Anyway, any kind of feedback is awesome, especially constructive critiques! Also, whether I update this or not, it depends on how much feedback I get for this. _

_*****One other note, though:** the setting for this is still the FFVII universe, but kind of more "modern", which is why I labeled it as AUish. _

_Thanks for reading! Until next time~_


End file.
